Guys, life with a 6 year old is very interesting…
After almost 6 years of being divorced, people who aren’t aware are often very surprised that Amra is a child of divorce. I’ve more than once been told she’s very compassionate and happy. Well don’t get me wrong, we have our drama, our fights, our laughs, tickles and giggles but we’re both just learning as we go along. And let me tell you – ensuring I’m sending out a well balanced and adjusted kid out into the world is damn hard work…
Like most couples, my ex and I have developed a good understanding that ultimately, it really has to be in the best interest of Amra. Add in my husband, and I think we are a pretty good team raising this kid. While I may flop at a lot of things in life, Amra is my number 1 – as most do. As with most little girls, we often endure moods as she too is discovering the world. Sometimes dealing with it, is “hard work” – as she says.
When children endure emotions, we often ignore them because they are children – believe me, it’s real. Yet in the same breathe, when we deal with our emotions, we expect those around us to deal with us – so what makes you any different to your child. Just because you’re an adult, doesn’t make you more special than your child. Hard truth hurts.
But nurturing a child’s mental health is so vital.
Well as I have a 6.5 year old now, this is what I’ve learned:
She is aware of her emotions and we have become aware too…
One thing I love about Amra is her honesty, compassion, empathy and ability to speak her mind. When she is sad, we know; when she is happy, which is all the time, we know, as our home is filled with song and dance; even when she prefers time with Zunaid over time with me, she’ll tell us. And we encourage that. Six-year-olds are more aware of emotions—both their own as well as those of others. We are quickly learning that she understands sophisticated concepts such as how to be careful about not hurting someone’s feelings by, say, saying something critical about them directly to that person.
Our little story teller
Amra is a dreamer – her imaginative world takes her to places where one minute she is a super star singing princess, the next minute she and Zunaid are fighting dragons with her Wonder Woman + Princess super powers saving the day – but right now, it’s all about her. Wr are quickly learning that when it’s playtime, we are all very much part of the Amra show. Her brother revels in her entertaining and often bombarded by their accomplishments, artwork, and everything else that they can squeeze into showing us while they are together. However, we started noticing that with all the confidence, she does have insecurities and this often breaks my heart but I have to be strong as her parent. Some days I feel an often push and pull factor on how to guide her or just want to bubble wrap her and tell her it will all be okay.
The privacy factor
Yep, we are now at the stage where she wants her privacy when it’s time to change. However, I’m not that lucky. I still get the audience when I need to pee, but she needs “time to herself”. She came home the other day and said someone told her that she’s fat and while my response inside my head was that I was going to kill them, my outer response was “you know what’s fat, mommy’s wobbly bits of when they took a small perfect you out of my tummy and you are still that pretty smart little girl” and her response was laughter and joy when I showed her my wobbly bits. And she hugged it and forgot all about the nasty comment. Thanks to the adult who said it. I hope YOU remain fat.
I can do it by myself
I’ve always taught Amra independence but now that she is exhibiting more of it, I’m suddenly experiencing the loss that my baby isn’t a baby anymore. She is tackling the world and the hardest part for me is seeing her struggle to do something by herself. But she is doing it. You go girl!
Some days she wants another sibling, some days she doesn’t…
Amra loves her brother. But she also loves the idea of having a small baby. Then she has moments when she gets her respective alone with myself and Zunaid and then she doesn’t want a new sibling – it’s always a touch-and-go situation for us. SOmetimes entertaining to endure her questions, sometimes awkward when she asks at the oddest most inappropriate time.
But all in all, we are learning and loving and dealing…
Much love xoxo