Parenting

Dear Amra…

By the time you’re old enough to read this, you’ll probably have a million and one questions as to why I chose a single life over giving you a life of a white picket fence with the person that helped create you.

Four reasons really…

  • A life of a white picket fence was never going to happen.
  • Happiness. The person who stared back at in me in the mirror was unrecognizable. I lost myself and I hated that. Remember, you have one life, so make it count.
  • Who I married, I didn’t even recognize anymore and can happily say, that person is far gone.
  • The life I wanted to give you, I knew I could never accomplish it knowing my battles were always going to be continuous.

And what’s my punishment for choosing my happiness – endless court appearances, gossip and being around people who are more eager to pass judgement than love.

People are strong but MOTHERS are stronger.

What have I done to deal with it – faced all the court appearances because you are worth every battle, said screw the gossip mongers and removed those negative haphazard from our lives (slowly at first and then altogether).

Despite my degrees, events and great achievements, YOU are my greatest accomplishment.

You are the best part of me in that being of you and who you are and who you will become one day, makes all the battles worth it.

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Always remember…

  • You can never make a man happy that isn’t willing to return the happiness.
  • His faults aren’t your faults. His failures aren’t your failures so you don’t owe him anything.
  • Respect is earned. People who don’t show you respect can go screw themselves. Tell them your mom said you can say that.
  • Don’t ever be on his priority list of things to do – you should always be his number 1. Screw what anyone else says.
  • Choose someone who brings out the best in you and offers you continuous support.
  • Dream! Always dream! If he loves you as much as he says he does, he will help make your dreams a reality and not just you make his dream a reality.
  • Having a belief is one thing, being blinded by culture is another. I raised you on belief and not on culture. Someone who forces culture onto you isn’t someone I want in your life. 
  • If his mother doesn’t like you from day 1 – she never will. Some bitches be crazy over their son. You owe her JACKSHIT. Remember that. You’re not her slave, her ATM or her emotional punching bag. Her worthlessness isn’t your problem and will never be.
  • Umar and Imaad (my brothers) will move mountains for you. Don’t ever forget that.
  • Your gran (my mom) will always love you the way I will. So you’ll always be the luckiest girl in the world.
  • While I may offer you stress, know that I love you to the moon and back. You are my first love.
  • The guy friends I do have and that have entered your life, will make sure you’re always protected because that’s the way of MY world, the way of OUR world.
  • Your mother is strong and a fighter. You will be stronger and a warrior. 
  • You will shine brighter than any diamond, love whole-heartedly, be the protector to your siblings, a friend to one and all and respect yourself.

So to answer your question as to why I got divorced, I chose a better life and being in a world of unhappiness wasn’t an option. 

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Love Me 

xoxo

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