In the first part of my blended family series, I was so excited that I had a dad ready to answer my questions. Meet Zaahier Isaacs and his wife, Zaahier and Zahira Isaacs
Tell me about your family?
My family consists on my wife (33), 4 beautiful daughters and a son. 2 daughters (19 and 16) are from my previous marriage my son (13) from second marriage, one daughter (13)from her first marriage and we have one together (2months) 2 daughters are with us in Johannesburg. Whilst it has it perks when you starting a family, as there are no outside influences. Let’s just say after 3 previous marriages, I met my true love, someone I can really commit to and see myself getting old with (and not I am not old yet). One major drawback I do not see all of my kids as often as I’d like
How did you and spouse meet? And how long are you together?
We met over the phone after my last divorce, spoke to her one Saturday evening because a friend decided that we need to meet. When I met her. The first time, face to face, I could not stop staring at her, I knew this woman was meant for me. This is the reason I have been put on earth. We have been together for 14 months and everyday gets better. We married just over a month after we first spoke. When you know…. you know.
How did the kids take the news that there are now more that will be joining the family?
They were nervously excited as it was so very quickly after my 3rd marriage. Her daughter was thrilled from the start.
What are your house rules?
We don’t have many. Keep your bedroom clean. Pick up after yourself and help out where you can, shared responsibilities….sometimes 🙂
How have you enforced the rules that are both suited to your parenting styles?
My wife is stricter having being raised very differently to me so she does most of the enforcing. I try not to be too strict as the daughter living with us is goofy and free spirited and she did move all of the way from CT.
How do you combine what is important to both of you?
Due to us still being ‘new’ we are learning about each other, but definitely working towards fulfilment, it can become difficult when 2 people raised very differently come together. She often tells me we balance each other out. I’m the calm to her storm and she is the logic to my emotion heheh
How do you resolve conflict in the family?
We try to talk it out. Sometimes we write down talking points so we don’t stray from the topics. I am someone I will hold back what I really want to ask, whereas she calls a spade a spade.
What things are you doing as a family that helps the bonding process?
Right now, we spending time at home as baby is only 2 months, but that will change very soon. Going to gym doesn’t count because the 13 year old daughter staying with us, feels the need to chill after a hard day at school. Hopefully she will join us at least sometimes.
What do guys do as a couple that keeps those romantic fires burning?
Baby is 2 months, so it is hard to get alone time but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife less. So right now, we have a coffee at the gym, just so we can catch up or watch a movie at home.
How do you ensure that everyone’s emotional needs are taken care of?
Going through the paces and learning to know each other. I do still promise my daughter a coffee date, we have things to catch up on. Actually promise all my kids a coffee date, but 3 of them are in Cape Town so it’s hard. ( I see her daughter as my own and love her as I do my own)
How do you handle ex-spouses?
Have a great relationship with my exes. Number one (yeah I have to number them), we get along. Number 2, we are close and chat often, she always keeps in contact with my current wife as well and they seem to have formed a friendship.
What advice would you give other newly blended families?
Follow your heart. I know that many people hear ‘you have kids, I don’t want someone else responsibility’ trust me it is not. The joy of having a kids, even though she is a goofy chatterbox who loves her creative mess is a blessing. Make sure that the parenting is split, but also don’t come across as the wicked witch. Remember, the kid/s of divorce did not ask for their situation. Love them, care for them and ensure that you do the best to raise them, don’t ever make them feel like they are in the way.